19 years...

Celebrated 19 years married to my love yesterday. Definitely still happy with him. In looking for a picture of us to post I discovered that this one was the only one I had from this year...and it's not that great. It does however conjure nice memories from an overnight together in March.

i LOVE this place...

We were out to dinner last night at a noodle place, nothing fancy. A family came in and a child's voice exclaimed, "I LOVE this place!" It made me happy. I imagine it made the restaurant workers happy. Who would not love to hear this kind of joy?

It reminded me of going for a car ride in December with my sister's kids. As we pulled onto the freeway, my then four-year-old niece yelled out, "The freeway! I LOVE the freeway."

Kids get joy better than adults do. We seem to spend an awful lot of time complaining, but not much time celebrating or being thankful. I want to be more child-like. Maybe the next time we visit the coffee shop we adore in Fort Bragg I can be bold enough to loudly proclaim my love. The regulars might think I am nuts, or maybe they might quietly smile in the agreement that they too love this place.

How Great

We had a baby blue jay in our back yard. It's parents had pushed it from the nest before it could fly and the bedraggled creature spent several days hiding in our yard before it could fly. It was so helpless. I was helpless to help it. (I read that this was actually part of the learning process and the bird needed this time on the ground in order to learn how to thrive). I was reminded that God knew the whereabouts of this bird and cared for it.

Our worship gathering this weekend focused on the traits of God. We considered his creativity, his mercy, his patience, and many more. Since it ended though, I have been pondering his hugeness. There are so many needs pulling at my heart right now. I think of family members who are sick or in need of jobs. But that is only the tip of the iceberg. I think of all those who have lost loved ones or homes in the multitude of natural disasters this spring. Then I think of the war-torn, the hungry...the list is so HUGE. It is absolutely more than I can wrap my head around. Yes, as I recall these things I pray, but I seem so insignificant to the problems. And yet, my God knows all of these needs. He understands the cries of the hurting. He sees each and every heart.

How does it all fit together? There is so much I can't fix. I know I am called to love, and to serve, and to give. I also know that this amazing God who calls me is big enough to take care of both the bird and all these other things that come to my finite mind. The most incredible part is that it is not too much for him. I keep coming back to the fact that this God is HUGE. It is only my belief that is small...

rough around the edges

I spend a lot of time working with youth. As a high school teacher and volunteer for my church's youth group, as well as as the mother to a couple. I suppose the lesson I relearned the other night should've come as no surprise then. Our youth group had just spent the evening talking about relationships...and how human relationships often seem to fall apart and what causes that. After the lesson ended, one of the girls who I spend time with in a smaller group setting came and sat down near me. This girl is usually loud. The focus needs to be on her. She will interrupt, poke her friends, play with her phone...almost anything other than be present in our discussions. And yet, this same girl sat before me now quietly. When I asked if she wanted to talk she shook her head no. Before I could prod much further, tears started to slide down her cheeks. I moved to where I could put my arms around her and let her cry for a couple of minutes as I realized that she was hurting over her parent's divorce. This divorce happened about 8 years ago...and it is still tearing her apart: her heart, her loyalties, her time, and...I realized, her whole self.

As I held this grieving girl and we talked about the Love that doesn't fail, even when human relationships do, I was reminded about brokenness. Often the loudest people we know, those most difficult to get along with, are the ones going through deeply painful things. I knew this. I had just forgotten. It is easier to go through one's day avoiding the painful people. And yet, being able to reach out to them and make a connection gives a day a whole new meaning. Being willing to reach past the thorns to make a small difference--not an easy thing, but the lesson I relearned the other night.